I've never been on my own like this before. Not just time on my own, but where I have cut ties with, quite literally, my world as I have known it my whole life.
I feel a calm settling over me that is strange and new.
It isn't the numbness that always follows the pain, I guess it to be a clearing of the way so I am able to see who I am on the inside. With the cluttering of the ones who needed something to everything from me are suddenly cut off, it has left me with a quiet that I have never experienced before.
For once, I am left to my own devices and there is no one to see but the eyes of the One who knows and understands everything.
What shall I do with this time? This freedom? Should I feel joy over this rather than shame and rejection? I feel joy and quiet. I don't waste time on grief and sadness. Though they crop up as they always shall, I will not let it ruin this time I have to myself and Jehovah.
This is an opportunity I plan on taking full advantage of.
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